It's that time of year where we are surrounded by sunlight, the temperature encourages us outdoors to eat, to play, to holiday by the sea and to exercise so it is the perfect opportunity to fully resource our immune system, our body and our minds. Psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson (Senior Fellow of UC Berkeley's greater good science centre) talks about the practice of "taking in the good", and I considered this to be quite topical at this time of year as we reach the summer solstice and have ample opportunity to take in the good surrounding us.
Rick talks about how our minds have a negativity bias so we are more likely to remember the negative experiences that we encounter than the positive ones. Interestingly it typically takes five good interactions to make up for one single bad one. For example at the end of your working day when you sit down to chat do you tell the story about the many positive experiences you had or the one incredibly memorable bad experience that happened or that one person who really annoyed you. Food for thought!
Another experience - You are heading out to the shopping centre and over the course of your trip you visit 10 shops. In 9 out of the 10 shops the assistants were very polite and you had a positive experience however we are inclined to only remember the one shop assistant that was rude, which can dampen the entire day and fuel your negative memory bank! Rick explains that the brain is like velcro for negative experiences but like teflon or silk for the positive ones - the positive experiences slide off and the negative stick.
It seems a bit unfair really, but this is how we have evolved and are conditioned as our ancestors had to really be aware of threat to survive. We however live in a very different world now and need to build up our resilience rather than our survival mechanism. It's a reminder to be conscious of our thoughts and bring our focus to the good experiences to build up a bank of good memories.
From the innovative research arising in neuroscience, we now know that with neuroplasticity we can rewire our brains. We know that it is possible to really bring our awareness and focus to embrace the good and when we have a positive thought it creates a positive feeling.
Ok sounds good but how can we do this?
Taking in the good in the simple moments, especially at this time of year is the trick. As you go about your day notice the next good feeling that comes along. A text from a loved one or a good friend, the smell of your coffee at break time or your dog running to meet you as you arrive home from work. When you notice this don't just allow it to wash over you, see if it is possible to savour it, lengthen the experience up to 20-30 seconds if possible.
How do I do this you ask?
Notice the feelings that arise during that good experience...if somebody smiles at you on the street or gives you a compliment, notice where you can feel the warm or excited feeling in the body and really be with that feeling for as long as you can. Feel into the warmth, or the tingle or the sensation if that feels comfortable for you to do. Research has shown that the longer something is held in awareness and the more emotionally stimulating it is causes more neuron's in the brain to fire and then wire together creating a stronger trace memory of a good experience. Each moment you do this (for even a couple of seconds) will be of benefit to your future mind. It is like creating a bank of positive memories internally so that the more of these you have in your bank the more likely you will remember a positive memory than a negative one and have the capacity to look inwards for your happiness rather than outward. I like to think about it like this, would my future self thank me for embracing this experience? What follows is that we build ourselves up to be resilient by embracing the good moments as much as possible.
It is important to acknowledge that it's also not so healthy to by- pass the "bad"experiences we have which we term as "negative"and this method is by no means encouraging fake or toxic positivity which is not of benefit to anyone - we do live in the real world and need to be aware of all feelings and experiences including the "uncomfortable" ones which colour our life. This is more about not letting those good feelings pass by too quickly, embrace them, feel them and allow the brain and body to connect with them so they can become a bigger part of our experience.
Sure what's the rush!
This is some of what participants in any of our mindfulness events or online programmes will be experiencing & enjoying to skilfully build into their own lives in more depth.
Our next self care event is 1st July at 11am-1pm in the beautiful surrounds of Bective Mill by the river.
To book pop over to the page "The Lavender Gatherings" or complete the enquiry form for "The Lavender Way" if you are interested in our online programme which will be commencing in the coming weeks.
Resources: Dr. Rick Hanson author of "Hardwiring Happiness", "Resilient", "Near Dharma", "Buddha's brain" & "Mother Nurture", his website is www.rickhanson.net
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