Do you regularly find yourself in a whirlwind of thinking where you are stuck on a cycle of things to do, people to catch up with and jobs to be tackled? There are so many demands on our time now, particularly with the age of technology where people can contact us instantly or send us amusing jokes or videos which take up our precious time when they capture our attention. The list of distractions is endless.
However we have the power to settle our own minds, if we know how.
"How do I find the balance" or "I need a break but don't know how" or you finally book a holiday when you are completely burnt out to end up sick, not even enjoying the holiday and come back home more stressed?
It is that time of year where we are looking forward to a well earned break, a holiday we have saved for all year which was to be our book end to all our hard work, a reward for all we have endured, possibly our only time to switch off.
A holiday is wonderful, a great way to find joy, explore new places and spend quality time with our inner circle. Do we really need to wait until the holiday to take a break though?
Do we want to be arriving on holiday completely exhausted and need another holiday after to recover or find the last days of the holiday are filled with dread at returning to work or life in general?
The truth is we don't really need a holiday to do this. We can find it in our every day life if we have the tools and give ourselves permission for 5 minutes to just step off the stress cycle. If we master this simple skill before we go on holiday maybe we can get more from the holiday including some calm, rest and the head space we needed.
I have recently heard so many people say they don't know how to find " the balance" or " I just can't switch off" and on our recent mindful morning many of the women came to the realization that we really don't give ourselves permission to do this regularly or we are thinking of someone else who really needs to do it but completely forget to put ourselves as a priority.
A little affirmation here "I am important enough & deserving of calm in my day"
Maybe close your eyes for a moment and say this affirmation to yourself quietly. Don't rush it, just notice the response.
Do you notice your thoughts are "I am too busy", " I don't have time", " I don't need this rubbish"?
It is likely the answer is yes. We are so conditioned to keep pushing and striving that our first reaction to stepping off the stress cycle is "No way, I'm too busy", if this is the answer maybe you need it more than you think. Often these are the prominant thoughts in our minds & shout alot louder than the quiet voice inside that needs you to stop!
So before you rush off, give yourself a moment to step off the stress cycle if you can give yourself permission.
How can I settle the mind?
Is there a quick way to settle the mind?
I can hear you now, I am exactly the same, give me the result so I can get on with things.. So here is the quickest, easiest way to step off the stress cycle & recharge for a few moments!
"Tuning to the sensations of breathing anywhere we can feel them in the body allows us to drop below the surface agitations of the mind into relaxation, calmness and stability without having to change anything at all" Jon Kabat- Zinn (Full Catastrophe Living).
This is a great one to do before we get out of bed to set our intention for the day with a clear mind or at any stage during the day or bedtime. Have a read below of how to do it and then trust yourself to try it without trying to perfect it. All you are doing is bringing your awareness to the breath so you can step away from the cycle of thinking you may be stuck in.
Wherever your find yourself, find a posture you are comfortable in.
Feel your feet on the ground and notice your body.
Maybe see if you can notice your breath (yes it is true some people don't know how to connect with their breath so don't worry if this is the case, your just out of practice.)
Notice the rise and fall of your chest and introduce a count.
If it is helpful count to 3 as you breath in and the chest rises and breathing for 4 as you breath out and the chest falls ( I always exhale for longer as it feels like letting go of the stress, but do what is right for you.)
Do this for a few moments and yes the mind will kick into thinking again, this is normal but be kind to yourself by gently bringing your attention back to the breath. If you have noticed you have dropped back into thinking - that's mindfulness and when you bring your awareness back to the breath that is your mindful moment just there! You've done it once, you can do it again!
Breathing in for 3 and out for 4 in a gentle way, not forcing anything just staying with the breath.
As you breath out notice your awareness dropping from the mind into the body with the exhale.
The thoughts are still there but you have taken a little break from them by focusing on the breath. When we focus on the breath we automatically take a break from the distraction that thinking causes. Don't worry if you reckon your doing it wrong or right or whatever, your breath knows how to breath all by itself, remember up until now it your breath has been working away all by itself without you even noticing. All you are doing is consciously settling your mind by noticing your breath.
If you find it hard to connect with the breath just notice the sounds around you, don't force anything. The trick here is taking a short few moments to just step off the cycle of stress by bringing the mind's awareness to the breath or sounds around us if that feels easier. It's got to be easy and simple for us to sustain it.
If you are on holiday or in a new environment try it out, maybe even bringing awareness to the sounds of nature around you.
We really have what we need wherever we find ourselves, it's very simple. Our breath is always with us and there are always sounds of some sort around us, especially in nature.
We need nothing else to step off the cycle of stress, we have it in our power wherever we find ourselves.
As I keep reminding myself I'm worth it & my future self will thank me for it!
Maybe you could say the same to yourself?
I'll be taking the first group through "The Lavender Way" starting in September, there are limited places. If you would like to hear more about it just fill in the enquiry form.
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